Enjoy parenting!

If you are not enjoying what you are doing, you probably need to change.

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

When a baby is born, someone else is born at the same time and that is a parent.

A parent is born with the power to do anything and everything possible for the well-being of that child.

That power is called love.

Practice and be patient with your parenting skills.

Professionals in a sport or in other areas of life make what they do look easy. That is one of the benefits of being a professional. Parenting is one of those areas. That means that even if you know exactly what to do, it takes practice to perfect your skills.

Professionals spend a lot of time studying and then implementing what they have learned. I am happy to do whatever I can to guide and support you as you become the professional you want to be.

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

From all the positive feedback I have gotten, I am so glad that so many of you are benefiting from the “15 Pillars of Parenting.” These first appeared in my book Parent Involvement Begins at Birth published by Allyn & Bacon in 1997. They were re-published again in Constructive Parenting published by Allyn & Bacon in 2002. Constructive Parenting is still available on www.drsallyparenting.com in the section called Products Available. Here they are in full summary:

4 Preparations

* Set up for success

* Make expectations clear

* Use praise and encouragement appropriately

* Make your child feel valued, needed, and important

5 Attitudes

* Separate the behavior from the child

* Look for the cause of the misbehavior

* Listen and communicate

* Be positive, warm, and supportive

* Be a person, not a god

6 Techniques

* Change the environment

* Use the sandwich method for supervision

* Be a part of the solution

* Use humor when appropriate

* Touch

* Miss a reward

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

Miss a reward.

After learning how to prepare for proper behavior, how to approach and evaluate negative behavior, and then how to handle any bad behavior that needs handling, here is the last technique.

Handle with care! If a consequence is necessary, set it up so that the situation empowers your child toward success. Help your child be an excellent decision-maker. Here is how it works:

“When you finish your homework, you can go out to play.”

“After you fold the clothes, we can play a game.”

“When you are ready for bed, I will read you a story.”

Yes, that’s the consequence… missing a pleasant activity. Hopefully, the pleasantness of that activity will spur your child on to try to achieve it. If missed, it will serve as a punishment but not leave some of the unpleasant pain that a punishment usually carries with it.

While there will be times that a  punsihment is necessary, in general, it is best to set up life for your child in this way. As you know, “If a child has been hurt, he/she wants to hurt back. If a child has been rewarded, he/she wants to reward back.” That’s just the way it is.

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

Pillar 13 - React with Humor

NOTE: React with humor when appropriate was posted on Thurs. Not knowing exactly what happened… here it is again.

Another way to say this is “Pick your battles.” Sometimes the best response is no response… or a little laugh… or even a big laugh.

Who remembers when you first saw your baby or toddler unravel a whole roll of toilet paper?

Who remembers when you first saw your preschooler put on your lipstick?

Who remembers when you first asked your child to fold a towel, and it looked messier than before it was before?

Pillar 14 - Touch

Your child just dropped a big bottle of apple juice on the floor, and your floor is now very very sticky. You want to yell and scream about this, but you try something different.

“Come here honey.” You both sit down together, and you both hug. You both catch your breath together, and you both calm down.

You realize during this time that your child did not mean to drop the bottle and that he/she is just as unhappy as you are. Yes, you still need to teach about being careful; and yes, you still need to clean up. However, as you can see, the first and most important action you needed to do was the one you did.

Hold, hug, and carress your child as much as you can everyday! Every single physical expression of your love to your child will make a positive impact.

Use that loving touch as much as you can. It will go a long, long way!

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

Be a part of the solution.

Your child will love this one… and so will you!

Here is another effective way to reduce child resistance. See examples below.

1. Ready to leave the house? How about…

“I’ll put the puzzles away; you do the toys.”

“I’ll hang up the clothes; you fix up the books.”

“I’ll put on the bedspread; you arrange the pillows.”

2. Ready to have dinner? How about…

“I’ll put my work away; you put yours away.”

“I’ll put out the plates; you do the silverware.”

“I’ll put out the glasses; you fold the napkins.”

Sharing is much for fun than ordering, and it really works!

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

Use the sandwich method for supervision.

Remember this one… you will want to use it as often as you can.

Here you are at one of those times when you want to get your child to do something. You already know that as soon as you ask for what you want, you will meet resistance. Oh no! What to do?

Use the sandwich method of supervision.

* Start off by saying something complimentary and nice like:

“You put your clothes away neatly everyday.”

“You always wear great shirts, and they fit well too.”

“You fold your clothes carefully and put them in your drawers.”

* Next ask of your child what is necessary.

“Now it is time to put your clothes out for tomorrow.”

* Then you finish up with something complimentary and nice.

“Once your clothes are out you can finish working on this puzzle.

You don’t have to stop here with this one. Try it with your spouse. Use it with friends. It is great for e-mail etiquette too.

* Say something nice.

* Ask what you want.

*Then finish up with a positive and appreciative thought.

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com